Customer Service Nightmares

Written by Sir DM:

When I worked at Radioshack years ago, I had an old couple enter in search of a cordless phone, as I recall, and I would be the lucky attendant to receive their business. Partly due to the fact that they were 95% deaf, they stood eerily close to hear my words even as I raised my voice to shouting levels which only enabled their noxious body odor to enter my nostrils with full potency.

I’m quite sure that they intentionally decided not to bathe for the past couple years only to increase my misery as a customer representative. They were wearing cloths, which like themselves, only saw water when it rained.

The husband was balding with hair falling out. Multiple strands lay across his shoulders and back and I believe some of it might have even been fur from a diseased animal of some poor species that ventured too near their dinner plate.

The wife was shorter and had a smile that could kill on site. If her teeth were not black or brown they were simply missing in action with breathe that could knock out a horse.

Dead skin summed up this day terror as both had many ounces of skin that either fell or was trying to fall from their head and face. I distinctly remember dead skin flakes across his nose that would rasp in the wind as the air conditioner hit it.

The distressing thought I had was of their beds. How I’m sure the white sheets had brown indentions indicating their sleep patterns speckled with their dead skin flakes. I myself sleep on my stomach and enjoy the smooth pillow casing against my face, but I could only think of if they slept the same way, the dead skin and hair strewn across their pillows making it quite abrasive. How they must breathe it in while they slumber, dead skin coating their mouths as they snore and lick their lips through the night.

For nearly 20 minutes their incessant quandaries were heard by me until they made their decision and purchased a Radioshack branded phone.

During the check out process the old decaying man handed me cash from his wallet that was sopping wet but warm from his ass sweat from where he was in his truck, air condition-less, for the ride to our store.

They finally left and I started to grasp the realization that I was light headed and sick. Luckily, I hadn’t eaten yet because otherwise, disastrous occurrences might have happened.